Say NO to Crack!!!

Breaking and Entering In-Progress 1300 hours

The call came in originally as a 911 hang-up. After making contact with the caller, he stated that he heard noises in his house and felt someone was breaking in.

Myself and my partner arrive and "tactically" park several houses down. As I approach the house my adrenaline is flowing and I am ready for anything. I notice that the rear door to the residence is standing open. We are expecting to see the caller at anytime. We stand around and eventually ask dispatch to call him back, no answer. We make entry into the residence and began to clear it room by room. We are calling out for the home owner, and we get no response.

I round the corner and all I can see is a 300 lbs man's ass crack on the bed. The guy is sprawled across the bed and appears dead. We yell at him and get no response, we rub an asp on his foot and no response. The man finally awakes from his mid-afternoon nap and tells all is fine. I guess he wasn't to concerned with the noises and the thought that his house was being broken into!!!

We never determined why the man was asleep in the middle of the day with his jeans around his ankles, ass up to the world. Then again I learned, it's better not to ask some questions.